If so, you need to face it and make a decision to do something to change it.
There are so many things you can do as a couple to alleviate your boredom and get closer together. You simply have to decide to change things up a little and not let your time get boring.
Even small tweaks can make major changes in the vitality and life experienced in your marriage so boredom is never a bad thing.
The idea of leaving your home when you’re bored might not sound creative, but at that moment, it may be an ingenious way of breaking out of your doldrums.
This simple act of changing or breaking out of the normal routines may open up many new opportunities for feeling alive again with your partner.
Here’s a list we compiled of things to do to help keep your relationship from going stale.
31 Things to do as a couple
1. Take a long walk or hike together.
This walk could be in your neighborhood or on a walking path or trail. You might actually want to take a hike on a trail that is more challenging than walking on a path or paved trail.
2. Have a picnic in the park.
Your picnic does not have to be elaborate. It can be very simple – peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some kind of fruit if that’s what you have.
3. Go on a bike ride.
Your ride could be on streets in your neighborhood or on bike trails or a combination. Make it a destination ride by choosing trails that take you through a park, along a river, or by a lake.
You can even make a whole day out of it by getting breakfast or lunch somewhere first, stopping for coffee at your favorite coffee shop or getting ice cream on your way home.
Alternatively, you could pack a small snack cheese and crackers and a bottle of wine in a backpack (don’t forget to take an opener, some plastic glasses and probably a knife for the cheese!).
4. Go to the local zoo.
Take the whole family! You might even do this when the weather is colder. There are some zoos that have “Christmas at the Zoo” events.
5. Have a game night with your spouse and your children if they are up.
For when you can’t leave home but want to change things up.
6. Enjoy coffee or dinner on the deck.
A picnic blanket in the garden or on the lawn is always a good substitute!
7. Spend time by the fire pit or get a campfire started.
Snacks are always a plus with this, but we recommend some classics like making s’mores, popcorn, or other camping classics.
8. Go for a scenic drive to enjoy spending time together.
Find a route where you’ll have a beautiful backdrop of a sunset by the trees or the ocean. Take a tip from number three and pack something to eat along with a bottle of wine or some iced tea to enjoy on a stop along the way!
9. Go out to a pub nearby.
So many of them have designated nights for specific activities, along with nightly fun like cornhole, trivia, and sand volleyball (for example) and you can order all the beer cheese you can eat. (Need we say more?)
10. Go mini golf or go to a driving range.
Hit a bucket of balls together! You can try out disc golf.
11. Go horseback riding.
Find a local stable or ranch that offers trail rides and live like the folks on Yellowstone for the day (without all of the political and family drama, of course).
12. Go to concerts in the park.
They’re often free or relatively inexpensive. You can enjoy the evening weather, music, and — well, of course, a packed snack! — together.
13. Snowshoe in the woods or out on a trail.
For when the weather gets a bit colder, or if you decide to pick a spot on the map and get out of dodge.
14. Go cross-country skiing.
Rediscover how pleasant and quiet it is being in the great outdoors in the snow by having fun at with this sport together (where the stakes aren’t as high as starting at the top of a black diamond slope).
15. Get up early and fix breakfast for your spouse.
Even if you make a mess in the kitchen and things don’t come out exactly as planned, you’ll be your partner’s hero, just for trying. Get the kids involved as accomplices and you’ll all get major brownie points! (And extra help clean everything up!)
16. Find a place in the city or your town where you can go ice skating outdoors.
You can rent ice skating shoes there and have fun holding hands, taking in the sights, enjoying the holiday music, and sharing some hot cocoa.
17. Sit by the fireplace and talk over cocoa or cognac.
Each of you could even spend a little time doing a crossword puzzle, Sudoku or reading a book together.
18. Build a snowman together.
Make a snowwoman to keep him company, along with some snow angels and share laughs. If you have kids, this is a great activity for them, too! (Just watch out for when they start the snowball fight!)
19. Get tickets for a concert or a play in your town or a city close to you.
You can do this together or one of you can surprise the other with these tickets. Get dressed, go out to dinner before or after the concert or play.
20. Make popcorn and watch a movie together at home after the kids are in bed.
You could also schedule a time to watch a Netflix or Amazon Prime series on your TV once a week together.
21. Plan a weekend away.
You could go camping (if the weather is nice) or stay in a hotel. Decide where you would like to eat, if there’s any sightseeing you want to do and any other activities you would like to share together while you are gone.
Google fun things to do in the area and pick one, or Google historical sites near you and start packing.
22. Find a new coffee shop and visit it or a new restaurant.
Change up your typical Saturday outing or date night!
23. Go out for appetizers.
You don’t always have to spring for a three-course meal and you don’t always have to go to the same restaurant! Have one course at three different places!
24. Schedule time to join your partner in their favorite hobby!
This will go a long way in showing that you care about what is important to them.
25. Volunteer together.
Often people do things for themselves and enjoy that time, but you can also do something for others and feel a greater sense of reward. It will also be a memorable experience for the two of you to express appreciation for the time to come.
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26. Prepare a meal together and then take it to a friend or relative who is ill or going through a difficult time.
Make the trip to the grocery store a joint trip to spend quality time together getting everything you need to make a meal the one close to you will deeply appreciate.
27. Surprise your significant other at work with lunch or coffee, or a special invite to a lunch date out at a nearby restaurant with you.
(You might want to call ahead and ask if they’ll be free to go to lunch or have a visitor.)
28. Come up with a list of questions you’ve always wanted to ask each other.
Spend some time writing these down over an afternoon or give yourself time to write them down as you think of them, and then pick out a time for a special date, either at home or out, when you can go down each other’s lists.
You could learn all kinds of things you never knew about your partner previously. (Just be kind and open-minded!)
29. Spend a quiet evening writing each other love letters.
You can share a bottle of wine by the fire, gaze at each other lovingly as you think of your next sentence and even flirt a little (with your body language — save the sweet words for your letter!). Then mail it to your spouse.
After receiving the letters and reading them, pick another night to share your letters with each other and your feelings about what was said in the letter.
30. Make a bucket list of fun, silly things that you’ve always wanted to do together.
Then choose something from the list and do it!
31. Take a few minutes and write down where you would like to be in a year, 5 years and 10 years.
Where do the two of you going? Do this separately and then share what you have written with your spouse.
Use these lists as a jumping off place to make your own.
Anything you choose to do that is different from what you have been doing or that is boring will make your lives better and help your relationship grow. Don’t give into the boredom and end up doing nothing!
David McFadden, LCPC, LMFT, and his wife, Debbie McFadden, LCSW, work together as couples counselors and relationship coaches.